Goodbye Michael…

rbst_rip_mjIt’s Michael Jackson’s funeral today and while normally i don’t pay a whole lot of attention to celebrities, this particular celebrity death is hitting me hard – a harsh combination of sorrow shadowed by guilt.  jackson-5Since the news, I’ve found myself teary-eyed and nostalgic – there isn’t a period in my life from childhood to my 20s to which an MJ song, dance move or TV appearance can’t be associated.

And i’m not the only one: in the first days, everywhere i went strangers would randomly stop to talk about how sad we all were about Michael Jackson’s sudden death.  michael-jackson_47712903Family members and friends from around the world contacted me to share the news or reminisce about which moments of their lives will be forever associated with which Michael Jackson song…

If you only know the MJ of the last 20 or so years – that ghostly, surgically sculpted figure with bizarre habits and a constant subject of questionable accusations and behaviours – then you might be confused at the worldwide outpouring of grief.  michael_jackson-2If most of these people are like me though they’re likely grieving for the other “before” Michael – the young pop star genius Michael who won every award available and completely transformed videos and the pop music scene.  The one who’s every song we can identify with some significant moment in our lives since childhood – the one who we’ve always wished could have found the inner peace necessary to live a more normal and happy life –  THIS Michael:

I SO wish things could have turned out differently for him.  I wish he was still making music.  I wish he hadn’t ruined his career.  I wish he hadn’t ruined his face.  I wish he was still just being fantastically talented and  musically brilliant in the way only Michael Jackson (and no one else) could be.Michael_Jackson-Off_The_Wall-FrontalI wish i could still listen to his music without that momentary flash of doubt and distaste.  And I wish i could still feel the pure and innocent fan worship that kept this picture happily posted in my highschool locker:  Michael-Jackson-p06

xoxo  R.I.P. Michael  xoxo



4 thoughts on “Goodbye Michael…

  1. Not in anyway trying to change your opinions, but just thought you would like to read these three articles about Michael that are the most brilliant I’ve ever read:

    Hunted to death:

    Michael Jackson’s message on a napkin – Have mercy:–Examiner~y2009m6d27-Michael-Jacksons-message-on-a-napkinhave-mercy

    Interviewing Michael Jackson: My 3 Hours with the King of Pop:

  2. Michael didn’t put on an act: what you saw is what he really was. And with all due respect, I think it’s become pretty obvious now that his family and friends and all those in his inner circle who were close to him and knew of his drug addiction were the ones who also did the least.

    They could have gone to court, said he wasn’t able to look after himself and physically forced him into rehab. Wasn’t his life worth saving?!

    These people are the ones who should feel guilty because they knew and did nothing.

    Michael loved and adored his fans, and we have never seen that type of affection from any celebrity before or in the future.

    “MJ is not my family nor a personal friend so IMO can like and/or dislike, miss and/or ignore whatever i choose about him. ”

    Sadly, this is true. Many fans and many friends abandoned him and as a sensitive soul I think he felt that and it hurt him very deeply.

    But yes, it is absolutely your prerogative to do so.

  3. I’m just passing by and happened to stumble on your webpage.

    My friend brought this up the other day, and I really agreed with her.

    Some people, people who aren’t major fans, or people in the media, try to say things like “Oh, I’m gonna remember Michael as that cute faced boy in the 70s”, “Michael in the 1980s was amazing”, “We’ll remember Michael for the way he USED to be..”, “We’ll remember the Michael BEFORE all the scandal”..

    It annoys me so much. You can’t just act like a part of someone’s life didn’t exist. Just because YOU didn’t agree with something, or because YOU had a problem with his surgery (as if it involves you -_-) You have to take Michael Jackson as a whole, not the Michael Jackson YOU thought was “acceptable”

    It’s what I call “conditional love”. Yes, I’ll love you if you stay a certain way and if you don’t, then I won’t either.

    I think Cher said pretty much the same thing when she was on Larry King as well. “I loved Michael! Well, until the 1990’s anyway, and then his behavior started becoming very strange and I didn’t understand him!” Imo, these are NOT the people who truly loved Michael.

    When I look at pictures of him in later life, I see the little boy. How can you NOT? He was so much a part of Michael, that little boy who lost out on his childhood…you just needed to look into Michael’s eyes to see him there. Michael Jackson as a little boy, young man and later life – these are all him. They are all one and the same. Accept him as the whole package or don’t. I’m sorry, but you can’t be selective about it. You just can’t.

    • Hi Cat,
      Thanks for taking the time to write. While i can appreciate where you’re coming from i have to disagree. MJ is not my family nor a personal friend so IMO can like and/or dislike, miss and/or ignore whatever i choose about him.

      This post was meant as a way for me to talk about the MJ I was a fan of and who i have good memories of and unfortunately my time as an MJ fan ended within a few years after his weird behaviour began.

      And let’s be clear here: it’s not the real MJ we’re talking about it’s his celebrity persona we grew to know and love through the media and his music – the only people who can really and truly say they love and miss the REAL MJ are his actual family and personal friends.

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